We have all experienced that moment where we thought for sure that we would be chosen for the role, promotion, conference speaker, client partnership, or added to leadership team only to learn that we weren’t selected. It can be disappointing and discouraging. or maybe we failed a certification exam. When we have these types of setbacks, our mind races to different places of emotions which can lead to negative and even depressing thoughts. There may also be times when you are currently part of a team, or in a situation where the leader decides they want to make a change and no longer want or need you… It can be pretty painful.
I have experienced disappointments my whole life from high school to college to pretty much every job I have had. I have been rejected as a speaker on multiple occasions, had clients leave our partnership, have not been included in a team leadership decision, failed an exam, wanted a promotion, and so much more. I remember applying to speak at a conference for seven straight years before actually being accepted. …and that is the key. Just because someone has said no, or rejected our offer doesn’t mean they don’t like us or our proposal, it just means they are looking for something different from an experience or value perspective and we have different approaches we can choose to handle this response for success in the future. I remember asking to be considered for a management role early in my career and not being selected. It was devastating and it took me a while to shake it… However, I kept showing up and tried to keep an open mind there would be more opportunities ahead. The following year, I was given another opportunity that led to bigger things.
The FIRST approach we can take is to accept the decision with excellence and work on improvement. It’s okay to let people know you are disappointed, but to also share the understanding and respect of the selection process and ask for ideas on improvement. Once confirmed, start working on you. Jim Rohn once said “if we want more, we need to become more”. We need to use these disappointments as stepping stone for the next opportunity.
The SECOND approach is to focus on the gratitude. I recently received some disappointing news that made me feel like I may not be good enough or cut out for these moments. I reflected all day and wondered if I was in the right place, or doing the right things, or even had the right goals. However, when I started focusing on the gratitude – my health, my family, and the people closest to me, I realized I have so much to be thankful for and that I need to keep being me and keep looking for other opportunities to make impact.
When we focus on the gratitude, it takes the focus off of us, and starts placing it on the importance of helping others.
You see, it’s all about mindset. To have success, we are going to have to face disappointment along the way. When we do, try to focus on the things we can control and not worry about the things out of our control. When we ask for a job or a promotion, the decision is out of our hands, but we can control our ability to learn and grow for the future. Whatever setback you experience, just remember that success is just around the corner… and just keep going…
Quote of the week: “What you do can change over time, but why you do it never does.” Simon Sinek
Call to Action: Have you had a setback or disappointment lately? What did you do to overcome the situation? Are you still bummed about it, or have you been able to move on? Share your comments below…
This has been A Relocation Minute on “Disappointments and Setbacks ” with Bruce Waller, for more information, call 972-389-5673, or email firstname.lastname@example.org or check out my social media Facebook and Twitter page. Also, check out www.BruceWaller.com to review my leadership book “Find Your Lane” available on amazon.